The Good Summer Tan

A pastor friend of mine used to say, "A little levity lest we perish".  With that in mind, I present to you as best I can from memory a wonderful camp skit we did with puppets.  We had a person stand and interview the "Bible scholar" puppet, and you can see how well he did.  For those who know their Bible stories, they should enjoy this.

The Good Summer Tan

Interviewer:  Do you know the Bible?

Puppet:  Yes I do, I know the Bibble from kivver to kivver, and I know the kivver, too, it says “Holly Bibble”.

Interviewer:  Um, I see.  Do you have a favorite Bible story you can share with us?  

Puppet:  Yes, my favorite is the Good Summer Tan.  Once there was a good Summer Tan going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and he fell among thorns and the thorns sprung up and choked him and left him half-dead.  But a man came by feeding his swine and he said to the man, “I will arise and go to my father.”  So he took up his bed and walked.  And as he went on he didn’t have any money, and he met the queen of Sheba, and she gave him 1,000 talents of gold and a hundred changes of raiment. 

And he got into a chariot and drove furiously with soldiers chasing him through the forest, and when he was driving under a big juniper tree his hair got caught in the limb of that tree.  He hung there 40 days and 40 nights and the ravens brought him food to eat and water to drink.  And after that he was an hungered and he ate 5,000 loaves of bread and two fishes.  One night while he was hanging there asleep his wife Delilah came along with a pair of shears and cut off his hair.  And he dropped and fell on stony ground, but the good master of the house resurrected him and he journeyed on his way.

And it began to rain and it rained until the water ran to the horses necks, and he hid in a cave and lived on locusts and wild honey until a dove brought him a piece of gopher wood.  Then he went on until he met a servant who said ‘lets take supper at my house’, and he made an excuse and said ‘I can’t I have just married a wife and I can’t go’.  And the servant went out unto the highways and hedges and compelled him to come in. 

And after supper he went on and come on down to Jericho, and when he got there he looked up and saw that old queen Jezebel sitting down way up high in a window, laughing at him and mocking him.  He said, ‘fling her down, boys’, and they flanged her down.  And he said ‘fling her down again, boys’, and they flanged her down again.  And they flanged her down 70 times 70.  And of the fragments that remained, they picked up 12 baskets full, besides women and children.  And they say, ‘blessed are the peace makers’. 

Now I just have one question for you Bibble Scholars, whose wife will she be on that judgment day?